What abuse can look like

Behaviour that repeatedly or seriously humiliates, intimidates, controls, isolates or undermines someone: screaming at athletes, degrading them in front of the class, constant ridicule, body-shaming, threatening their place in the gym, withholding coaching or attention as punishment, punching walls or throwing things to frighten people, or repeatedly singling someone out as weak, stupid or disloyal.

In BJJ it is sometimes disguised as "toughening people up" or "old-school coaching". High standards and direct feedback are not abusive in themselves. The difference is whether the coaching aims to help the athlete develop — or relies on fear, humiliation or control.

Intentionally causing, or creating an unreasonable risk of, physical harm beyond what is legitimately part of the sport — including forcing injured athletes to keep training.

In BJJ that could be deliberately injuring someone, continuing a submission after a clear tap, choking or restraining someone as punishment, "teaching someone a lesson" through a deliberately dangerous roll, striking outside an agreed ruleset, withholding water, or painful punishment with no training purpose.

Hard rounds, pressure, submissions and discomfort are normal parts of BJJ. Using them to punish, frighten or deliberately harm someone is not.

Unwanted sexual comments, jokes or messages; intrusive questions about someone's sex life; sexualised remarks about their body; unwanted touching; sending or asking for sexual images; exposing someone to sexual material; sexual coercion; non-consensual sexual contact; and sexual assault.

Grappling does not create blanket consent to touch. Contact that is necessary for learning a technique is fundamentally different from sexualised, unnecessary or unwanted contact. And power matters: someone who controls access to training, promotion or competition makes it much harder to say no.

Physical, verbal, social or online: repeated ridicule, threats, spreading rumours, deliberately excluding someone, encouraging others to freeze them out, mocking them in the gym group chat, damaging their reputation, or making the gym a place where they feel unsafe or unwelcome.

It may target someone's race, nationality, religion, disability, age, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or other characteristics.

A joke that lands badly once is not automatically abuse. But "it was only banter" does not excuse a repeated or severe pattern of humiliation, intimidation or exclusion.

Subjecting someone to degrading, frightening, dangerous or humiliating treatment in order to join a group or be accepted by it. Someone appearing to go along willingly does not make it safe — especially when refusing would mean being shut out.

In martial arts: painful "traditions" for beginners or the newly promoted, deliberately dangerous rounds, forced drinking, sexualised rituals, humiliating tasks, or requiring people to accept violence to prove they belong.

Tradition is not a safeguarding exemption.

Abuse is not always something done to an athlete. It can be failing to provide reasonable care: ignoring an obvious injury, pushing someone back before it is safe, repeatedly putting inexperienced people into clearly unsafe situations, ignoring serious reports, failing to protect someone from a person known to be a risk, or leaving children without proper supervision.

Usually a process rather than one incident: gradually building trust, creating a sense of being special or indebted, blurring professional boundaries, encouraging secrecy, isolating the athlete, making them dependent.

It can look like excessive private messaging, unusual gifts or privileges, an intense "you're the only one who understands me" relationship, demands for loyalty, gradually introducing sexualised conversation, or making opportunities depend on keeping the coach happy.

Not every close coach–athlete relationship is unhealthy. The question is how the power in it is being used.

Safeguarding does not end when everyone leaves the mats. Threatening messages, persistent unwanted contact, rumours, coordinated harassment, impersonation, publishing private information, sharing intimate images without consent, or posting content meant to humiliate. Stalking can mean repeatedly monitoring, following, contacting or turning up around someone after they have made clear it is unwanted.

Gym WhatsApp groups, Discord servers, Instagram accounts and private messages are part of the training environment too.

Sometimes it does not stop when someone speaks up. Retaliation is punishing, threatening or disadvantaging someone because they raised a concern, supported someone else, or gave information.

In BJJ: removing someone from classes or competitions after they complain, withholding promotion, encouraging teammates to avoid them, threatening their reputation, calling them a "snitch", pressuring them to withdraw, or telling them that speaking up will "destroy the gym".

A safe way of raising concerns cannot work if raising one carries a punishment.

A gym or organisation can increase harm by knowingly tolerating misconduct, protecting influential people, discouraging reports, ignoring repeated warning signs, or letting someone known to be a risk keep authority over athletes.

This is why good safeguarding is not only about identifying "bad people". It is about having ways for concerns to be raised, recorded and handled consistently. The safeguarding kit is a place to start.