I run a gym or coach

Why this reaches you last

In a survey of 1,566 people across 51 countries, 20.6% of those who were harassed told nobody at all, and only 18.4% told the gym owner. If you are confident it is not happening at your gym, that number is a reason to be less confident, not more.

Much of what to do when someone tells you still applies here. What follows is what changes when the people involved are your own members.

Ensure immediate safety

Before anything else, make sure everyone involved is physically safe. If there is an immediate risk of further harm, separate the individuals if necessary and ensure the person making the disclosure does not have to keep interacting with the person they have named.

If urgent medical care or emergency assistance is needed, help them access it immediately.

Remember the first-aid principle: if someone is bleeding, you put the bandage on first.

Believe them, and stay calm

You do not need to decide whether the allegation is true in order to respond supportively. Your role in the first conversation is to listen, remain calm, and take the disclosure seriously.

Avoid reacting with disbelief simply because you know or like the person who has been named. It is entirely possible that someone has always treated you with kindness, has been an excellent training partner or coach, and has nevertheless harmed someone else. Your personal experience is not the same as someone else's experience.

Slow down. Gather appropriate advice before deciding what happens next.

People matter more than reputations — and communities usually build stronger trust by responding transparently and responsibly than by trying to protect their image.

Protect the survivor's autonomy

Wherever possible, allow the survivor to remain in control of decisions affecting them. Explain the options available and support informed choices whenever it is safe to do so.

One of the lasting impacts of abuse is the loss of control. Your response should help restore that control, not remove it again.

Support does not mean saying yes to everything

People who have experienced harm don't have to be calm, consistent or easy to support. They may be angry, frightened or overwhelmed. They may change their mind, contact you often, or ask for an outcome you can't or won't provide.

Take their needs seriously, and be honest about your role and your limits. If you can't do something, say so clearly. Explain what you can do instead and, where possible, help them find other support.

Don't promise an outcome, unlimited availability, or confidentiality you can't guarantee. Being supportive is not the same as agreeing to every request.

Good boundaries protect everyone. Set them around your role, your capacity and your responsibilities — not around whether someone is showing distress in a way you find comfortable.

Supporting someone while setting limits

A boundary can be disappointing without being rejecting. Acknowledge what the person is asking for, and why it matters to them, before you explain what you can and can't do.

"I understand why you want that, and I can see this is really difficult. I can't promise that outcome, but I can explain what we can do from here."

If you have to limit contact, do it openly rather than going quiet. Tell them when and how you can respond, and who else they can contact if they need more.

You don't need to absorb someone's distress in order to take it seriously.

Managing access to the gym while a concern is open

One of the most difficult decisions is what to do when the person alleged to have caused harm is still training at the gym. Your first priority is an environment where the person who disclosed can feel physically and emotionally safe.

In many cases the safest approach is to temporarily restrict that person's access while the situation is being assessed. This is not a finding of guilt and not a disciplinary sanction. It is a temporary safeguarding measure.

Communicate it in simple, neutral language. You do not need to disclose the details of the allegation or reveal who made it:

"A safeguarding concern has been brought to our attention. While we assess the situation, we are temporarily suspending your access to the gym. This is a precautionary measure and not a determination of responsibility. We will review the situation on [date] and let you know the next steps."

Setting a clear review date — two weeks, a month — reduces uncertainty for everyone and shows the measure is being actively managed rather than drifting into an indefinite suspension.

Keep the survivor informed throughout. They should not have to wonder whether they will unexpectedly encounter the other person at training.

Communicating with your community

If a member or coach suddenly stops attending, people will notice, and rumours spread quickly in close-knit gyms. You don't need to explain the details. Protecting everyone's privacy is part of your responsibility.

"We're currently dealing with a safeguarding matter. Out of respect for everyone's privacy, we won't be discussing the details. Thank you for understanding."

It is also appropriate to ask your members directly to help:

"We understand people may have questions, but we ask everyone to avoid speculation, rumours, or trying to investigate the situation themselves. Please respect the privacy of everyone involved and allow the process to take its course."

You don't owe the community gossip. You do owe them confidence that concerns are taken seriously and handled responsibly.

After a concern is raised, check for retaliation

Do not assume that "nobody complained" means nothing is happening. Check whether the person who reported, any witness, or the person affected is being excluded, pressured, threatened, blamed, denied opportunities or treated differently. Ask them privately whether anything has changed since the report.

Document what was disclosed

As soon as practical, write down the date and time, who was present, what the person told you using their own words as much as possible, and any actions you took.

Avoid adding opinions, assumptions, diagnoses, or conclusions. Keep it secure and share it only with people who genuinely need to know.

Seek expert advice

You are a coach or a gym owner. That does not mean you are expected to be an expert in trauma, safeguarding, sexual violence, or crisis response. If you're unsure how to proceed, seek advice from professionals with relevant expertise before making significant decisions.

Know in advance what support exists where you are — lila.help lists services for almost every country. You don't need to know all the answers, but you should know where to find them.

Accept uncertainty

Perhaps the hardest part is that you may never know exactly what happened. Not every case results in an investigation. Not every survivor wants to report. Not every allegation can be conclusively resolved.

That uncertainty doesn't remove your responsibility to make reasonable safeguarding decisions based on the information available. You are not trying to achieve certainty — you are trying to keep people safe.

Look after yourself, too

You may feel shocked, angry, guilty, conflicted, or uncertain, especially if you know everyone involved. Those feelings are normal. Seek supervision or trusted professional support if you need it, while protecting the survivor's privacy.

Before anything happens

Everything above is easier if something was in place first. The safeguarding kit is a checklist, a code of conduct, a club policy and free training, and there are printable posters — the most valuable item on it is also the smallest: name a person members can talk to, and make sure members actually know who that is.